My Birthday Celebration (Mar 1999)

Growing up in a large family out in the wilderness with many brothers taught me many skills. Being productively busy is one of them, for it seemed the sun would go down before we finished all that needed doing. We did have candles and propane lights, but they were used sparingly. This month's photograph is of me having my tenth birthday. I am the one behind the candle. I know this is my birthday party and not one of my brother's because there are more girls than boys in the picture. Hazel, Gail, Sharon, Laurie and myself were the only girls living in our small community, so it was a special occasion when they all came over for a visit and cake. Presents were usually money or a gift made by themselves or their Mom. This year on Feb. 20th, I enjoyed having my 47th birthday gathering and I made time for it. The twentieth of each month is my 'going to print' time and my day is usually spent on the computer putting the finishing touches to ISSUES. Thanks to all who came to my birthday and to those who sent their love and blessings, for I do know how busy life can get.

Life has always been busy for me. I reread some letters that I wrote to my Mom when I was fourteen and my opening sentence on all four of them was about how busy I was. Life doesn't change much unless we put our undivided attention on what we want and ask for it with all our heart. I love being busy, so I doubt if that will change. My challenge is to get clear on what I want to spend my time doing.

Last Sunday I made time for a walk in the sunshine rather than typing Musings so my story is short this month. Letting go of expectations and at the same time expecting only the best is what I am practising these days. I have ideas on how to make it work, but at the same time, I know I have to be flexible enough to keep changing as the circumstances do. I continue to do the breathing exercises that Ken teaches me, feeling deeply into my body, checking in as often as possible. Lately it is the sensations of anxiety and fear that I can feel moving in my belly. I give them space and instruct my brain not to get caught up in past patterns and to live in the moment. Each time I remind myself to let go of the past patterning, it fades a little. For the past three years my hips have been shifting, a long slow process that seems to be coming to fruition. When I go for a walk I can feel my sway back tucking under and straightening. My shoulders are becoming more balanced over my torso which allows my neck to come into proper alignment. Straightening the twist in my hips and the curve in my low back gives me a feeling of weakness and there are moments when I wonder if what I am doing is for my best interest but they are short-lived. I breathe into the fear and remind myself of what Ida Rolf said about the hips and the sacrum needing to be in alignment with the centre of the Earth so that we feel Her and get a clear connection to our purpose for being here, for I do want to do my best this time round.

Getting the hips to rotate meant my opposite shoulder had to loosen up and the thousands of small intricate muscles within the hips had to stretch and realign themselves. I give credit to yoga, rolfing and my emotional clearing process that I do weekly or monthly for it feels like completion is close, and at the same time I know it only readies me for the next step in my journey.

February is the month I choose my 'Universal lesson' for 1999, something to focus my intent on and to remind myself to do things in a different way. This year it is "Getting Clear." Getting clear with myself and what I want for me and the community that I live in; getting clear with friends, advertisers and readers about what is expected from all of us; getting clear with my business partners about what we need from each other to feel supported; and getting clear within myself on the qualities I need in a new business partner. Issues is now in its tenth year and I feel it is time for more input, more creative flow with someone who loves working on computers and has a vision of networking information. The possibilities are unlimited but it takes dedication, time and money to make it a reality. It is always exciting to see what the future will bring and time is our illusion, so what will be will be. I wish you love and light in manifesting your desires. Breathe deeply and get in touch with your body for it has the answers you need to make yourself healthy and happy.