The Goddess Within (Dec 2001)

I know time has passed since I last typed but it sure doesn’t feel like two months. Still, there are so many trims that need to painted or varnished, so much cleaning and scrubbing and still I need to find new places to keep all the things I own. The move feels good but with the store being bigger it means I have more shelves and more inventory. The issues office is almost complete but my desk may take months to get organized. Extra time is being spent on gluing peacock feathers, that my mother gave me years ago, to a piece of plywood, so that it can be hung instead of sitting in the box so the mice can chew on it, and now that I have the space to hang it — it feels right to spend the time doing it.

This year I decided to do some major improvements to fix up this old building and compounded with a fractured hip, I feel like I have been put through ‘The Test.” I am the eternal optimist and figure I passed the angels test with an A plus. The compounding effect did wear weary on me once in awhile, especially when I let my rational mind remind me of my imperfections but generally speaking I love being busy. I know with winter’s coming I will get some time to rest, but there is a year’s worth of paperwork waiting to be done so that season will probably feel very short as well. When spring comes I have several patio’s to finish as well as some yard work. I am thankful that I don’t have room for a garden and that we have a wonderful farmer’s market that can supply me with wonderful organic veggies. Life does feel good.

I am one of those people who generally think that a job is easier or quicker than it actually is. As my carpenter once said, “So much for a ten minute job,” after spending an hour and a half doing something very simple. Our perceptions of time and what we do with it, effects us in many different ways as we all make time for the things that are important to us. It can give us a sense of satisfaction or time off for re-balancing or healing ourselves. Time is an illusion of this world and we make it linear with our clocks and calendars for the present is all that we really have. The present is about listening to our bodies and our inner selves to know what is important in the moment. The rest can and will wait until it comes to the top of the priority list. I needed to remind myself of this message often this past few month so that I could function in the middle of the hurricane that I created. If the sun is shining than a walk may be most important thing I need to do. I always make time for people, food and family and the rest will get done when the time is right.

So today it is time to sit and type and tell you about the photograph on the front cover, as I still my mind from all the reminders and just breath into my belly, knowing I have time enough to be me. If sitting still for three days was what was required of me I know I could do just that, for my latest injury taught me more about letting go. I couldn’t even focus on reading or meditating for the discomfort was too much and I did what I do best. I breathed deeply into the discomfort, never really feeling the pain. Now that I can walk again it feels great just to be able to get things done.

I have decided it is okay to have a photo of me on the front cover. My mind debated with itself that it wasn’t perfect enough but I let go of my ideas of perfection years ago and still continue to do so since my mind likes to remind me of what could be or was. This is my fiftieth birthday celebration year and I felt honoured that a local artist who has moved to Penticton from Calgary wanted to paint the goddess within. She had done a front cover for Synchronicity last year and felt drawn to walk to my place and speak with me. She also does pet portraits or will paint your favourite photograph on canvas. Her name is Beth Roszko and you can give her a call at 770-2397. As you can see there is an angel playing a trumpet over my head as the colour purple floats in front of my eyes. She said she could feel the business of butterflies as she painted the transformation that was happening.

She was the third intuitive person who told me that a Goddess was starting to emerge through me. This is the time of the great transition, where the patriarchal systems declines and matriarchal systems start to replace them. A time of great chaos and struggle as humanity changes its beliefs systems. I am told that the goddess’ are wanting to return to the earth plane and are looking for bodies to be in. I welcome her presence if that fact is true and as I have said before I try not to get too rational and just allow what happens to happen.

I know that if I want things to be different I have to take the time to change them. In the middle of renovating I made a presentation to the Select Standing Committee on Health when they toured the province when they stopped in Kelowna last month. I think it is important for each of us to speak up when given the chance. Plus I got a reminder from a massage therapist in Terrace who suggested I speak. My written presentation is on page ??. I was given ten minutes to speak my mind as well… which I did as passionately as possible. Several observers in the audience made a point to tell me that they liked my presentation. When I asked one young lady what made mine better than the others, she said, “No fluff.” I said, fluff and she said, “You know, no beating around the bush.” I concluded my speech with an announcement that I had something for each of them. One of the minister’s who appeared to be quite stiff at the start of my talk smiled and said, “I bet it is something healthy.” I smiled and reached into my bag and gave each of then a paperback book on a variety of health subjects as I announced, ‘There are thousands of these books available for people to read to help themselves and just think what could happen if we were supported by the government.”

The world has changed much in thirty years. Many of you have taken the time to educate yourselves and I wish to encourage you to take the time to speak to your Member of Parliament on how you would like to see the system changed. They asked for input on how to save money and still make the health care system work for you, the people. There contact number is 1-877-428-8337 or on the web at www.legis.gov.bc.ca /cmt.